The truth nobody tells you about meeting etiquette

Freshly hired and a high potential. Female. Italian. Genuinely naive. Strongly motivated. This was me when I was invited to partecipate in my first senior meeting at my last employer. I wish somebody shared this very same experience with me before. It could have saved me some head and heart ache. Managers above my grade incited the audience to ask questions, to openly challenge their stand point. At that time I ignored that they were not really meaning it. That they would have excluded me from future meetings and that they would have taken advantage of my courage, but behind the scenes. Although I was delivering results like a well programmed machine, I was not invited to senior meetings for a long time after. Years after, I found myself walking in the same shoes as senior managers and was disturbed by overactive participants.

If I were allowed to turn back time, this is what I would do.

If you catch yourself tempted to speak up at a senior meeting. Don't. If you really want to influence and make the difference, network before and after the meeting. Allow more senior colleagues to look good thanks to your insight. Work behind the scenes to be allowed to be on stage. And when on stage, keep a low profile.

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